Christmas in June

The good news comes just in time – Scot Shields is out for the season. Yes, thanks largely in part to this blog, the Angels have realized the sheer suckosity of Scot Shields and have sat him down for the season.

In an effort to save him the humiliation he so richly deserves, they are publicly saying it is due to his knee ailment. But in an off the record conversation with a high ranking Angels official, the truth came out.

“Of course we are benching him for the season. What, have you seen this guy pitch? Sure, he’s sucked for a while, but without many options we were forced to let him pitch. But his suckiness was affecting the whole bullpen. We expect with Shields out of the picture, the entire bullpen will finally rid themselves of this overwhelming feeling of loserness and start pitching like big leaguers.”

We look forward to quickly regaining the lead in the AL West for good.

And In Comes Shields…

I’ve been accused, unfairly I might add, of only pointing out Shield’s flaws and ignoring his good performances.Since I’m sitting here, watching the Angel-Yankee game with my laptop, I thought I’d give an honest play by play, good or bad, with my biases put aside. I will wait to post it until Scot is done with the inning, but I promise that I will not edit based on the outcome.

The situation: Ortega goes 6 1/3, giving up 4 runs and is pulled after giving up a one out hit to Derek Jeter. To the pen goes Scioscia, and in comes Scot Shields. One on, one out, and a tie game in the Bronx.

[Shields comes in to finish off the 7th]

… battling the first batter, Johnny Damon, and Damon wins the battle with a walk …
… Shields quickly gets Texeira to ground into an inning ending double play …

Good job, Scot. Mike wisely pulls you after your success before you blow it. It is odd to see Speier as our new setup man.

Another Win, Another Poor Outing By Scot

From the official recap of the game… “Setup man Scot Shields was again shaky and closer Brian Fuentes yielded a ninth-inning home run, transgressions that could be overlooked given the circumstances….Shields got through the eighth despite walking the leadoff hitter and giving up two hard-hit balls”.

I’m glad we are winning despite Scot’s performance.

Angels Score 10 runs! Uh oh…

I must have missed the commercials coming into last night’s game: “Come on out to the ballpark on Wednesday, April 22nd. All Detroit fans in attendance will be treated to a free gift courtesy of ‘the best setup man in baseball’. All right handed choke artists between the ages of 33 and 34 will be given the chance to double their ERA.”

Scot Shields and Corky have never been seen together. Coincidence?

Shields’ performance last night was stomach turning. Usually he gets an out or two before giving the goat. Hit, walk, hit, walk, done. That Scioscia, a man known to leave pitchers in too long, pulled him after four pitches is telling. Big Mike knows that Shields is in a bad place right now. Worse than he’s ever been, and I don’t say that negatively. I’ve had my problems with Shields for years, but at least he’s always had some good games in between ones that resembled an episode of Rosanne. Now, he looks as pitches (and looks a bit) like Corky; trying his best, but still not very good.

Saunders wasn’t great last night, but at least our offense picked him up. Scot comes in with a two run lead, faces four batters, gives up four earned runs (thanks his protégé, Jose Arredondo) and leaves the loser. This is a train wreck, and Scot Shields is the engineer.

Light up the Halo (if it still works)

Finally the Angels were able to return to their winning ways, if only for a game. It was great to see a clutch 2 out hit from GMJ, and another good performance by Hunter. Weaver pitched a good game, Arredondo looked good, and while Fuentes gave us a Frankie-esque performance, getting two on, hitting a batter, throwing some in the dirt, he also got a Frankie-esque result, the “S”.

In baseball, as in business, when things go right it’s important to step back and take a look at what we did to achieve this success so we can learn from it and repeat it. Hmmmm…. Let’s see…. What was different about this win and our previous losses? Oh, right. No Shields.

Am I an Idiot? You decide!

Well, I’ve been called an Idiot. Finally. After all these years, I’ve been thinking I was the only non-idiot around, only to find out that I too am in the coveted club. It’s unofficial, of course. I haven’t received anything by mail, but I’m assuming it’s on the way. Apparently some Shields-loving blogger has taken offense to our self started support group, trying to cope with the many failings of “Suckapotimus Shields”.  I originally left this as a comment to his post, but since it was awaiting moderator approval and I wasn’t optimistic about the chances of it going through, here’s my reply:

LOL! Good one! Hilarious post. Ironic wit, delivered with impeccable timing.

I love how you juxtapose “some uninspiring outings” and “some stretches of control problems in recent years” with “by in large, he’s one of the best setup men in the history of the game.” Genius! Will your next post be about how Hitler had some “unique thoughts on race relations” and some “periods of maniacal genocide” but was “mostly one of the most effective dictators of the 20th century”? Both have the same air of authenticity.

“That jersey is much heavier than it looks.” Wow, what next, will you post pictures of the World Trade Center collapsing to evoke even more emotion and less common sense? How about starving Ethiopian children, at least the ones Madonna hasn’t adopted? Adenhart’s death sucked. He was a great kid and a great player. That hit us all hard, and of course the Angels players, and it is shameful for you to drag that out to explain an utter collapse in bullpen performance.

Shields suckiness started long before Nick died, and was manifest clearly about 4 hours before his untimely death. The Angels family grieves, no doubt, but it’s a copout to say the least to blame the bullpen troubles on Nick dying. With a healthy team, it would have been just as likely for the Angels to go on a 10 game winning streak and we’d all be talking about how they are playing with a passion, to honor Nick’s memory.  It’s ironic how a battered rotation, losing Frankie, Tex, Kotchman, and Garland, and relying on Izturis and Morales leads to a bad start. Oh, but let’s blame it on the grieving process.

Or is the grief selective? Some of his closest teammates, like Loux, Weaver, Moseley, and Saunders grieve by throwing strikes and getting outs, while Shields grieves by causing more runs than ex-lax. I’m no shrink, so you may be right. Maybe Shields is trying to drown his sorrows in his ballooning ERA. Or maybe he feels guilty about losing Nick’s last game and is trying to compensate by losing games for everyone else as well. Who knows?

The starting rotation is not the reason we aren’t winning. Poor clutch hitting has something to do with it as well, but the fact that the bullpen, led by veteran Scot Shields, is the main reason for our horrible start is not up for debate. However, I think I’ll let Krusty the Clown have the final word on this topic.

Tell me this isn’t happening!?!?!

Seriously, this isn’t about all I can take. The Angels bullpen has more holes than a Michael Moore conspiracy theory.  On the bright side they aren’t fat bearded slobs, so at least there’s that.

On Friday Shields (AKA “Sucky Suck Suck”) faced 3 batters, giving up 2 hits, a walk, and 3 earned runs, and to raise his ERA to 7.20, which is still better than he deserves. Shield’s has typified the bullpen woes this season; nay, he’s been the ringleader. As the tenured veteran out of the pen, he’s showing the young  guys the ropes. “Jepsen, you got good stuff, but you gotta really learn how to blow a game in style.”

You hear a lot of clubhouse talk, how guys go through hazing rituals, make the rookies carry their bags and dress up like chicks. I wonder if the bullpen has some sort of game like that going on, and their seeing who can get the highest ERA? Jepsen is out in front with a 19.29, but Bulger’s keeping it close with an 18.00 of his own. Or maybe Shields is trying to mask his ultra-suckiness by talking the other guys into raising their ERAs so he’d look good in comparison.

Friday’s 9-4 lead turned into an 11-9 loss, thanks to our sucky pen. Saturday Darren Oliver clutched up for his first start in 6 years, giving up 1 run in 4 innings. Jepsen came in to go BB-BB-1B-1B-2B-BB-WP, turning our 2-1 lead into just another Halo defeat.

Mark my words – in September we are going to see a lot of blown arms in the Angel’s starting rotation. These guys are getting just as sick of it as we are and are going to 9 innings every chance they get. Hope Saunders is ready for his first 300 inning season.

Angel’s Bullpen Confident

A recent article by Angels writer Lyle Spener opens “Scot Shields wants the baseball and the responsibility, game on the line.” Well good! And Iran wants nuclear weapons, but neither of these are good ideas.

From the article:

“We’ve got all the confidence in the world in our bullpen,” Shields, its senior member, said as the Angels prepared for a three-game weekend series with the Twins at the Metrodome. “We want the game to come down to us getting the job done. You have to feel that way to be successful.

“We’ve had a few bad games, but that’s going to happen. We’re fine. You’ve got to have a short memory as a reliever. It’s like a quarterback who throws an interception, or a goalie who gives up a goal. We’ve got the same personality as those guys. You’ve got to let it go and move on.”

“We’ve had a few bad games”? That’s like saying Rosie O’Donnell has had “a few donuts” in her life. I have no problem with Shields or the rest of the Angel’s pigpen trying to have a short memory and pitch with confidence. But actions speak louder than words, Scot. And right now you are pitching with the confidence of this guy.

I want the Angels pen to do great, never give up a run, and Scot Shields to win the Cy Young award. I will happily blog all day long that Shields is doing great, if and when that ever happens. I don’t root for Shields to blow it; he just does anyway. And I’m just so tired of seeing it game in and game out.

Do the Angels suck, or is it just Shields?

A recent email discussion with the illustrious @AnaheimRaiderHater brought up the question of whether the scope of this blog should be widened to something like “The Angels Suck” rather than narrowly focused on Scot Shields and his many shortcomings. After all, this is a team sport, and the Shields alone can’t be the root of all our woes, can he?

ARH has a point. We are both (all?) die-hard Angels fans, watching every game, going to many throughout the season, and watching every “Before the Big Leagues” rerun of Chone Figgins fishing for bass. Shouldn’t this blog allow us to talk about the troubles of the team as a whole and not just Scotty boy?

The short answer is no. I mean, of course we can talk about the Halos in general, and lament about the usual suspects of not hitting in the clutch, Scioscia’s questionable field management decisions, and the bullpen at large. That’s all fair game. As long we know that deep down the root of all our problems stems from Scot Shields. He’s like a cancer eating away at you from the inside. AIDS doesn’t kill you; it weakens your immune system so bad that something like pnemonia does you in. That’s what Scot Shields is; he’s the HIV virus spreading through the clubhouse, causing hitting slumps, errors, and of course, blowing leads late in the game.

As long as we know that Shields is the underlying problem in this organization, anything regarding the Angels is fair game in this forum.

Go Angels!

Stats Are Filthy Liars!

I was checking out the Angels stats, as I frequently do, and in reviewing the pitching stats I was disgusted to see our new $9.75 million dollar “closer” (if you can call him that) has an ERA of 12.00. “Wow”, I thought, “if Fuentes’ ERA is an even dozen, what’s Shield’s ERA, a billion?”

Nope. Shields boasts a cool 1.80 ERA, the envy of the back of any baseball card (well, maybe not Nick Swisher). Needless to say I was flabbergasted. That’s like finding out that Octomom already had 6 other kids and lived on welfare. It just ain’t right. But sure enough, written in stone, is Shield’s one earned run in five innings pitched.

A little investigating only infuriates me even more. The 4/8 Adenhart game recap from Lyle Spencer puts it succinctly: “Nick Adenhart couldn’t have been much better. The Angel’s bullpen couldn’t have been much worse.” Once again, “Angel’s bullpen” is a euphemism for “Scot Shields”. And while the box score accurately only lists him as giving up one earned run, we all know he gave up 3 runs. If you are a pitcher with men on base and give up the rock to Shields, you can kiss your ERA goodbye. He’s going to let them score. Shields came into a 4-0 game and left with it a 4-3 game. This is Shield’s M.O. Like a cougar stalking the flat-billers at the local bar, Shields plays the game with a sly, subtle grossness that is apparent to all but those wearing the thickest of beer goggles.

The 4/14 game against Seattle was even worse. In the 10th inning he gives up a double then throws the ball away on a bunt attempt, allowing the winning run to score. SCOT SHIELDS SINGLE-HANDEDLY LOST THAT GAME. However, since it was an error, his error, that allowed the run to score, no earned run charged.  His stat line reads .2 innings pitches, 0 earned runs. Nice try, Shane, but you better go all nine next time if you want to win a game in the majors.

Shields is like a deadbeat playing the welfare system, getting food stamps, and working under the table. He knows the system.  He knows how it works. He doesn’t care about winning or losing; as long as his ERA stays low. With Shields in the pen, I foresee a lot of Angel’s pitchers suddenly trying to go the distance.