The slight twist today was that Jepsen beat Scot to the choke, blowing the lead in an effort to take the pressure off Scot. It didn’t work. The A’s scored 3 runs off Scot, leading to yet another loss. Interestingly enough, he lowered his ERA with no earned runs charged to him due to a generous error charged to Brandon Wood on a tough play.

I’m actually starting to think Scot missed his true calling and should have gone into politics.

Shields: “I inherited these runners. I can’t help it if they score.”
Obama: “I inherited this economy. I can’t help it if it collapses.”

Shields: “I let in 3 runs, but no earned runs.”
Obama: “I lost one million real jobs, but saved millions more imaginary jobs.”

Shields: “I blame Brandon Wood”
Obama: “I blame George Bush”

Shields: “I want to provide free runs to 30 underperforming baseball teams”
Obama: “I want to proved free health care to 30 million underperforming people”

Paid for by Shields for President 2012

You have to understand something: I don’t hate Shields because he has no talent. He has great stuff. His fastball has great movement. He can really throw the ball, no doubt. It is because of this talent that he’s so putrid. He has the stuff to be a great pitcher, but the 6 inches between his ears causes him to choke almost every time. Of course most of the world can’t pitch as well as Scot; then again, most of the world doesn’t get paid millions and get called “the best setup man in baseball”. He is being judged by his performance on the mound, and when it matters, he usually crumbles.

So after Wednesday’s game, all the Shields’ lovers where as happy as Michael Jackson at a Boy Scout camp-out (what, too soon?) One ardent supporter (aka “moron”) emailed me “I would like to announce that Scot Shields’ ERA is still 0.00!!!”. LOL. Seriously? Then a funny thing happened on the way to the Cy Young presentation – Scot had to pitch again. And that opportunity came Saturday night against the A’s.

This time it was a crucial game situation, unlike Wednesday’s 3 run deficit in the 9th inning. This time it was a 3-3 game in the 8th inning. A groundout, a double, an RBI fielder’s choice, and a blown save. This is typical Shield’s! This is the whole reason for this blog! This is what he does consistently!

Thanks to Matsui for saving the Angel’s sorry butts. He drives in runs better than, well, he probably drives a car.

Look for our new blog, coming soon: BrandonWoodSucks.com.

A weak off-season to be sure, but by far the most disappointing off season decision was NOT castrating Scot Shields and sending him out to pasture.

Scot, now the last remaining player from the ’02 championship squad, is back in the pen. His role remains unclear, as Fernando Rodney looks to get a lot of 8th inning action, but his goal remains the same. To wreck any game in which he pitches. My biggest fear is that Shields’ ineptitude on the mound will lead to Matsui committing hari kari in the dugout.

Corky had better watch his back. A couple of false steps and he’ll be backing up Scott Schoeneweis at a charity softball game in Victorville. One can only hope.

In an effort to save him the humiliation he so richly deserves, they are publicly saying it is due to his knee ailment. But in an off the record conversation with a high ranking Angels official, the truth came out.

“Of course we are benching him for the season. What, have you seen this guy pitch? Sure, he’s sucked for a while, but without many options we were forced to let him pitch. But his suckiness was affecting the whole bullpen. We expect with Shields out of the picture, the entire bullpen will finally rid themselves of this overwhelming feeling of loserness and start pitching like big leaguers.”

We look forward to quickly regaining the lead in the AL West for good.

The situation: Ortega goes 6 1/3, giving up 4 runs and is pulled after giving up a one out hit to Derek Jeter. To the pen goes Scioscia, and in comes Scot Shields. One on, one out, and a tie game in the Bronx.

[Shields comes in to finish off the 7th]

… battling the first batter, Johnny Damon, and Damon wins the battle with a walk …
… Shields quickly gets Texeira to ground into an inning ending double play …

Good job, Scot. Mike wisely pulls you after your success before you blow it. It is odd to see Speier as our new setup man.

I’m glad we are winning despite Scot’s performance.

Scot Shields and Corky have never been seen together. Coincidence?

Shields’ performance last night was stomach turning. Usually he gets an out or two before giving the goat. Hit, walk, hit, walk, done. That Scioscia, a man known to leave pitchers in too long, pulled him after four pitches is telling. Big Mike knows that Shields is in a bad place right now. Worse than he’s ever been, and I don’t say that negatively. I’ve had my problems with Shields for years, but at least he’s always had some good games in between ones that resembled an episode of Rosanne. Now, he looks as pitches (and looks a bit) like Corky; trying his best, but still not very good.

Saunders wasn’t great last night, but at least our offense picked him up. Scot comes in with a two run lead, faces four batters, gives up four earned runs (thanks his protégé, Jose Arredondo) and leaves the loser. This is a train wreck, and Scot Shields is the engineer.

In baseball, as in business, when things go right it’s important to step back and take a look at what we did to achieve this success so we can learn from it and repeat it. Hmmmm…. Let’s see…. What was different about this win and our previous losses? Oh, right. No Shields.

LOL! Good one! Hilarious post. Ironic wit, delivered with impeccable timing.

I love how you juxtapose “some uninspiring outings” and “some stretches of control problems in recent years” with “by in large, he’s one of the best setup men in the history of the game.” Genius! Will your next post be about how Hitler had some “unique thoughts on race relations” and some “periods of maniacal genocide” but was “mostly one of the most effective dictators of the 20th century”? Both have the same air of authenticity.

“That jersey is much heavier than it looks.” Wow, what next, will you post pictures of the World Trade Center collapsing to evoke even more emotion and less common sense? How about starving Ethiopian children, at least the ones Madonna hasn’t adopted? Adenhart’s death sucked. He was a great kid and a great player. That hit us all hard, and of course the Angels players, and it is shameful for you to drag that out to explain an utter collapse in bullpen performance.

Shields suckiness started long before Nick died, and was manifest clearly about 4 hours before his untimely death. The Angels family grieves, no doubt, but it’s a copout to say the least to blame the bullpen troubles on Nick dying. With a healthy team, it would have been just as likely for the Angels to go on a 10 game winning streak and we’d all be talking about how they are playing with a passion, to honor Nick’s memory.  It’s ironic how a battered rotation, losing Frankie, Tex, Kotchman, and Garland, and relying on Izturis and Morales leads to a bad start. Oh, but let’s blame it on the grieving process.

Or is the grief selective? Some of his closest teammates, like Loux, Weaver, Moseley, and Saunders grieve by throwing strikes and getting outs, while Shields grieves by causing more runs than ex-lax. I’m no shrink, so you may be right. Maybe Shields is trying to drown his sorrows in his ballooning ERA. Or maybe he feels guilty about losing Nick’s last game and is trying to compensate by losing games for everyone else as well. Who knows?

The starting rotation is not the reason we aren’t winning. Poor clutch hitting has something to do with it as well, but the fact that the bullpen, led by veteran Scot Shields, is the main reason for our horrible start is not up for debate. However, I think I’ll let Krusty the Clown have the final word on this topic.

On Friday Shields (AKA “Sucky Suck Suck”) faced 3 batters, giving up 2 hits, a walk, and 3 earned runs, and to raise his ERA to 7.20, which is still better than he deserves. Shield’s has typified the bullpen woes this season; nay, he’s been the ringleader. As the tenured veteran out of the pen, he’s showing the young  guys the ropes. “Jepsen, you got good stuff, but you gotta really learn how to blow a game in style.”

You hear a lot of clubhouse talk, how guys go through hazing rituals, make the rookies carry their bags and dress up like chicks. I wonder if the bullpen has some sort of game like that going on, and their seeing who can get the highest ERA? Jepsen is out in front with a 19.29, but Bulger’s keeping it close with an 18.00 of his own. Or maybe Shields is trying to mask his ultra-suckiness by talking the other guys into raising their ERAs so he’d look good in comparison.

Friday’s 9-4 lead turned into an 11-9 loss, thanks to our sucky pen. Saturday Darren Oliver clutched up for his first start in 6 years, giving up 1 run in 4 innings. Jepsen came in to go BB-BB-1B-1B-2B-BB-WP, turning our 2-1 lead into just another Halo defeat.

Mark my words – in September we are going to see a lot of blown arms in the Angel’s starting rotation. These guys are getting just as sick of it as we are and are going to 9 innings every chance they get. Hope Saunders is ready for his first 300 inning season.